Sorry it Sucked
by The Lady Dudes of Japan
Summary: Daiken.  Ken is haunted by the memories of his 'first time'.  Will he get past them or will this end his relationship with Daisuke.


_Japanese Lady Dudes _here!

This is a one-shot

Written in Ken's Point of View!

If you asked me about my first kiss I could go on forever about how my head went blank yet there were all these emotions running through it. How even though we had no skill in the subject it felt right and perfect. How if I could do it again I'd have my first kiss with him over and over again.

I love him so much and before all this happened I loved laying in his bed making out. Now just the thought makes me want to run away and hide under a rock.

I've heard girls talk in school about how 'Going All the Way' brought them and their boyfriend closer together, how he made it so romantic by either laying out a towel on the beach for her or lighting candles in his room while his parents were away. I wish I was them. I don't wish I was a girl but I wish my moment could have been nice like that. Even though it was with someone I know I love, it was still too weird for me.

"Ken? Dear, are you feeling okay? You haven't touched your food." I looked up at the concern face of my mother. I love her so much and after the whole Kaiser thing we've become really close; I wish I could tell her what was constantly on my mind.

I smiled up at her the best that I could, "No mama, everything is fine. I just don't have much of an appetite tonight. May I be excused?" I asked as politely as I could. She gave me another worried look and said I could leave.

I went to my room and found it empty and alone. I had told wormmon to go back to the digital world for a little bit and have some fun. I didn't tell him why though. I just didn't want to worry him with my crushing mood. After a while I climbed up onto my bed and went to sleep.

_"God! I didn't hurt you did I? Oh shit I did, didn't I! Ken I'm so-o-o-o sorry! Ke-"_

Bolting forward I woke up in a mess. My heart was racing and I had tears on my face. I keep hearing his words over and over again in my sleep. This shouldn't effect me like it is! Why couldn't I have been normal and just liked the stupid thing! It was just sex. Just sex.

"Why can't I ever be normal?" I mumbled and held back a sob. The events from that night wouldn't get out of my head. Why couldn't I just forget it?

* * *

The next day mama wouldn't let me go to school. After dad had left for work she pulled me into her bedroom and sat me down on her bed. She wanted to know what was wrong and why I had been acting so weird the past few weeks. She noticed I hadn't hung out with Daisuke at all and she was worried we had a fight and it was making me depressed.

Why do I always have to worry and make my mom cry? It makes me feel worse about the whole situation!

"Ken, I thought we were getting so close. Please, can you tell me whats wrong?" After that I started crying too and I blurted the whole thing out in one quick sentence; so quick I don't know if she understood a single word of the jumbled mess. She did though; and she stayed quiet for a really long time. I felt like a disappointed. "You two are so young." She said after a pregnant pause. "Of course you two weren't ready, I-" She cut herself off and sighed.

"I am so sorry Mama." I said and looked down at my hands which were in my lap picking at my nail. "It was a mistake."

"Do you two love each other?" She asked and I nodded my head. "Then it wasn't a mistake. The first time isn't suppose to make fire works explode over you both. It's not suppose to be this passionate explosion that last for hours. It hurts, it's awkward, and it's weird. I'm sure Daisuke wasn't feeling those fireworks either, sure it was probably a lot better than it was for him than you but he was just as nervous, felt just as awkward and the feeling was probably so overwhelming that he probably didn't last that long anyway." She said and leaned forward to place a hand on my shoulder. "But it gets better, eventually it'll feel passionate and feelings you've never felt before with come over you. You just have to get over that little bump to get to the good stuff, okay?"

Who knew telling her could make me feel so much better. Sure now I felt even more humilated now that my mom knew I had sex with my boyfriend, but her words calmed the memories of that night.

"You're only 14 Ken, remember you have the rest of your life to feel the fireworks."

Maybe I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. Maybe if I would have waited till I was older it would have been a tad better than what it was. I want to do it again, but she's right, I'm only 14. I think I want to wait.

* * *

My mom let me leave later so I could go catch Daisuke when he got off of school. He was really surprised to see me and rushed over to me once I was spotted.

"Oh Ken, I am so sorry!" He cried out, his eyes filling with tears. I was about to open my mouth when he continued. "I knew it was too soon! God what's wrong with me? I didn't mean to hurt you Ken, that's the last thing I'd ever want to do. And I understand if you never want to have any physical contact with me again!" Luckily no one was around then or else we would have gotten some stares.

He had rested his head on my shoulder and was sniffling pitifully. I lifted it up and smiled. "Your right, I wasn't ready. But your the person I'm glad to have lost my virginity to so it was worth it. When we do it again," That seemed to brighten up his face. "We'll take it slow and we'll know more what we are doing." I said and took his hand within mine.

"I love you Ken." He said and gave my hand a squeeze.

"I love you too."

* * *

This was written based on my friend. She wasn't ready when she did it and it effected her really bad for a while.

She didn't tell me at first, in fact she waited about four months afterwards to tell. She said for a while it was weird between the two of them and she made him cry when she said that she hadn't been ready. But they waited for a while and now they have a healthy sexual relationship and I couldn't be happier for her to find such a great guy. It was their one year aniversity this month!

**REVIEW and tell me what you think!**

**I can write more like this if you like.**


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